She stayed in silence in a dark corner of a locked room, with long breaths, eyes brimming with tears and wished that it was just a lie. She wanted to hear from someone; that it was just a dream, an illusion of darkness.
Life was beautiful for 25 years old Eukee, a lot of friends, just a normal life of a normal girl over the urban mesh of Thimphu and it was honestly quite beautiful. She was happy with a small salary, working as receptionist at one of the hotels. But one thing changed her life suddenly; it was a storm of distraction.
On a morning in early August, the sun was still beyond the horizon and the dogs were fast asleep after a long night of howling, the early birds were about to come out of their comforting nest and the entire town was in complete silence, almost like a dead valley. Eukee was still in deep sleep alone in her rented apartment, the only fan that would give her fresh air during hot summer months was in complete rotation with nothing to be heard from the outside. A giant man entered her home, he had broken the main gate and the door by continuously hitting it with his weapon. It seemed that he was planning from a while ago looking at his expertise and the things he brought to break into her home.
Eukee was still in deep sleep; suddenly she was awakened when she felt someone was inside. To her surprise it was a masculine man, he had a knife in his hand.
If you shout, you will not see the next dawn, he threatened her with a sure tone to take her if she shouted.
“Please, let me go, take all things you are in need,” she pleaded with brimming eyes.
He ordered her to undress with a knife near her neck point. Eukee had no choice; she felt a deep fear of losing her life. At this moment she thought of her poor parents back at the village to whom she meant everything. She was the eldest amongst four and had to support them.
Slowly like pure snow melting and making an entire mountain barren, she took off her clothes. In a minute she was completely naked. Completely lifeless in her own comforting home that used to be just a few hours ago. She could not push him off. She begged several times saying no. It didn’t matter. He kept going and was done quite quickly; he pulled up his pants and in mute shock.
In disbelief she thought in silence how a woman’s life is hard, every step we need to pave with fear. Her own shadow talked like demons with nothing to be seen, with no reason to live now.
It was almost a month now and Eukee could not get over it yet. Every time she saw a man her heart skipped a beat with fear and her soul silently creeped with hesitation to talk. This incident completely changed her perception over a man’s behavior.
Now she didn’t feel comfortable even to talk with male friends who used to be so close once.
Time elapsed quickly with the bitter wind of November. She could neither tell a friend nor report to the police for help. It was her fear of being judged by the society, overlooked by her friends and avoid being a puppet of the talks around her that demotivated her to seek any help during the time she needed most.
Sitting inside her new apartment, completely exhausted with the spear of life that cut her into pieces she sobs silently. Scrolling feeds in Facebook, Eukee types in her status. I am a dead soul now, life is lost and eaten by the devil.
P.S
In the memory of our sisters who we lost in recent months, to those victims whose cry has gone unheard. It is to those who have undergone such a life shading situation and could not voice out due to the fear of society and the fear of being judged. My character Eukee was afraid, she was innocent and she herself was not sure what to do in such a situation.
Her dreams and aspirations were nabbed so suddenly in the midst of her budding life. She could now never wake up another day with the same zest and zeal with the same motivation that used to be.
Sometimes life can be cruel, it puts us in a bog of rotten ditches but we need to clean up ourselves and move. More importantly it is every man’s duty to fix the ditches so that our sisters can walk freely, sleep peacefully and work confidently.
So it is to every man- let the girl sitting next to us feel free to talk and share her secrets. Let our story not be like Eukee; being feared, changing perception about man and losing trust and faith completely on humanity.
– Dilliram chhetri (BHUTAN)
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