The sky is beautiful tonight- there are stars twinkling like a happy person’s eyes, the waxing crescent moon looks like someone is smiling at me and saying everything is going to be fine. I have always been that person who finds the sky mesmerizing but today I noticed it has been so long that I hadn’t seen the sky or noticed how happy it made me because I wasn’t myself for a while.
I was at the balcony of my house scrolling through my phone, unwittingly my eyes happened to meet the night sky. I got chills at the sight of it and did not know that I had been gazing at it for too long until I heard my name being repeated by my mother from inside! I replied that I would stay for a little longer watching the beautiful sky; it was nostalgic as I reminisced about the old days. I used to sit there everyday staring at the sky, being stunned by the beauty of it and all of a sudden at some point I stopped. Maybe I didn’t want to feel heartbroken or sad even after looking at something that made me happy, I got scared by the thought of seeing one of nature’s most magnificent works of art and feel nothing but pain or perhaps the vastness of the sky portrayed the immense emptiness I have in my soul!
But in that moment I felt different, I didn’t feel hurt or grief. Rather I felt serenity, all my agony was replaced by tranquility, I hadn’t felt this peaceful since a long time, as if the sky was telling me that the void in my heart was a symbol of the universe’s extraordinary piece of art that I have in me. And that the more I avoid things that make me want to live, the more misery it will bring, so rather than running away with the fear of suffering, ordeal or anguish I should accept all of it and let it in otherwise I’ll waste my life escaping from something I never even confronted or tried to.
And yes the sky is still as beautiful as it ever was and I gaze at it almost everyday!
-ABISHA GURUNG
NEPAL
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