Will I finish my degree or will my degree finish me…?

Will I finish my degree or will my degree finish me…?

As absurd as it sounds, I know it doesn’t make sense that we won’t be graduating. Come on!! Why won’t we graduate? After all these years. We will graduate for sure but the suspense here is……. How?

Maybe online? Maybe the date will be delayed?  You name it!! The possibilities are endless. 

Amidst the maybes and maybe nots, here I am working on my final year project, reading a book (which I am taking forever to complete), spending almost half of my day on social media and regretting it at the end of the day. I never thought I would be spending my last semester at home; at home with no clue of what I’m doing.

We were almost always waiting for the year 2020, because we would be graduating and there were so many events we were looking forward to. Of course, the farewell picnic and the farewell night but come to think of, will we even have a decent graduation? 

Maybe we will just have an online-graduation. Of course, that would be different and something I could brag about to my kids but at the same time, if only I could turn back time, I would spend some more time with my friends. Maybe the last time we saw each other was really the last time we will be seeing each other. Will we be back again, my class? My room? My friends? Will I see them and experience things again because I didn’t even say a proper farewell to the people who mean so much to me. I haven’t told them how much I enjoy spending time with them. I haven’t even told them how grateful I am for all the fond memories.

I know I had a really tough time in college at first, I was kind of sick during my first year and it was my first time in a hostel and with so many new faces to deal with, I was going through internal conflicts most of the time. I was not happy. But deep inside I was attached to the place and to the people and a part of me always knew that one day I would be missing this place really bad.

It’s already happening, an unexpected farewell. Let’s say that for now. I don’t know how long it will take for the COVID-19 to stop- a few months, a year or maybe more. It cannot be predicted.

People are posting things saying it’s time to reflect and work on ourselves which is true but those things can be done even without a virus going around. With a heavy heart, I think: no, actually I miss going to college and I miss seeing familiar faces. I hope we will be back and everything will be normal again. Till then stay at home, save the world. That’s all I can say for now.

Kinlay Zam